Yes, the town of Gloucestershire is under siege! Maniacal swans have been "attacking kids, chasing postmen, vandalizing cars and property — generally wreaking havoc and making the villagers’ lives a living nightmare," reports the New York Daily News. Yes, you read that correctly: The swans are terrorizing the people. The Mirror is even going so far as to say some residents are afraid to go out. "I'm scared to leave the house at times. I can't even go outside to hang up the washing any more."

The Metro reports that, according to a park spokesperson, the source of all this chaos, as per usual, is sex. It's mating season, so the normally beautiful and docile creatures are being overly aggressive. (Even so, you're probably thinking, "These stupid things have no arms or hands or fangs! They shouldn't be that tough to deal with, right?" And that does sound logical, but here's the rub: The arrogant SOBs are protected by the Crown!

From Ask the Police, the "official police resource for England and Wales":

Wild unmarked mute swans belong to the Crown. As such this means that taking or killing a swan could amount to theft and injuring them could amount to criminal damage (both these offences committed against swans have been successfully prosecuted in recent years).

With no other options, some residents are now arming themselves with high-powered water pistols to defend against the beautiful, graceful, hormonal, monstrous avians. Hopefully, this phase will soon pass and these feathered sex-crazed freaks will just settle down and start falling asleep by 10pm after two glasses of red wine like the rest of us.

Source: The New York Daily News/The Mirror/Metro